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Ivy (Tuesday, 24 July 2012 01:18)
My constructive two cents: the story lacks a structured outline (beginning, middle, end) - it could find its way into a whole movie like this, but it's a little weak to stand alone. Hope that
Mike (Tuesday, 24 July 2012 07:25)
Hi, thanks for taking the time to review. I thought there WAS a structure to this – maybe it’s not obvious – will look at it again. Cheers.
Craig (Friday, 27 July 2012 21:14)
The kiss is very slite, I mist it the first time and is it Valentine's day? The two most important parts of this competition. You also had a lot of space left on page two.
Could have made more if it. Maybe had to much bad language.
Mike (Sunday, 29 July 2012 12:40)
I want to boil my head in a saucepan