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Thom Vanstone (Thursday, 26 July 2012 02:41)
....I noticed you centred your dialogue :/
my friend has a theory that the scripts may have had to fit a loose mould in order for all 50 to be merged into one feature. do you think ours may have gone against the grain?
Nigel Sheppard (Thursday, 26 July 2012 07:58)
Hi Thom, I believe the scripts had to meet some basic formatting criteria to be accepted. My dialogue isn't centred though, look at the left margin of my dialogue, it's all in line. If it was centred
every line would be perfectly in the middle of the page. Hopefully if they run this, or similar, competitions again, we'll have a bit more luck!
David Sartof (Thursday, 26 July 2012 11:59)
You've picked a good thematic idea here, but not particularly original. I've read through this a couple of times now... I can't help but think you've missed an opportunity. To me, neither expert nor
Saint, it reads as a scene, not a story. This is not helped by the fact that you being and end the script as a scene. FADE IN/FADE OUT is conventional.
Your writing is clearly good, but I also think you could have put this on one page, leaving you a full page to develop the idea into a story. Let me ask you this:
"If you were to identify the begining, middle and end, where would you make the turning points?"
Craig (Thursday, 26 July 2012 12:13)
David is right, not original. Also is it Valentine's? It's not bad but I can see why it did'nt get through.
Craig Beachell (Sunday, 29 July 2012 00:57)
I agree with the above regarding originality, as soon as I had read the first few lines I instantly knew what the outcome was going to be, so I skipped to the end and confirmed my thoughts. keep