Breathless by Martin Price

Sonia has seen fellow runner Paul struggling to improve his time in the local park. She suggests an “Anti-Valentines” drink to celebrate their singleness and defy the hype.
50 Kisses - Breathless.pdf
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Comments: 4
  • #1

    Nigel Sheppard (Wednesday, 25 July 2012 17:34)

    For me it should have ended when they ran off in separate directions, without the whole collapse thing. That would have made a nicer story, although difficult to work the kiss in.

  • #2

    Craig (Wednesday, 25 July 2012 17:42)

    Don't see why this didn't get through? Maybe not enough scene discription. Maybe they shoud be flirting a little.

  • #3

    Craig Beachell (Sunday, 29 July 2012 09:49)

    I liked this one and as a Film maker it enabled me to visualise what you was trying to express. The formatting of the script is no better or worse than one's produced by major companies.

  • #4

    Martin Price (Tuesday, 31 July 2012 14:13)

    Thanks for the feedback guys. I was originally going to have him collapse in front of Sonia and have her adminsiter the kiss of life, but in the end I thought it was a bit sadder this way.
    Bit gutted it didn't get further, but there you go. Let me know if yours are up and I'll reciprocate.