Shut Up and Knish Me by Su/Nina Hoyle

Tonight, Melanie will give herself one last chance to find true love -- and the clock's about to strike midnight.
Shut Up and Knish Me 5.3.12.pdf
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Comments: 5
  • #1

    Su Hoyle (Wednesday, 25 July 2012 15:43)

    "Shut Up and Knish Me"--

    Just wanted to say thanks to the 50 Kisses competition for the opportunity to share "Shut Up and Knish Me." While our script simply hints at 50 kisses to come, there is a lot of dark humor and a kiss of romance that come with the 50 knishes. Good luck to us all! Nina and I will definitely enter this competition again.

  • #2

    Milethia (Saturday, 28 July 2012 22:53)

    Hi. You really capture the atmosphere of a...I guess (being from England) college/university. I found the piece amusing - especially the 'knish' commentary as Melanie goes about her business.

    With the title being 'Shut up and knish me', I half-expected Melanie, overwhelmed by the deliciousness of the knish, and then given another by a MAN (I think you should name him) to then kiss the man. Actually, it might be quite interesting to have the MAN, as he goes about his knish business, clocking Melanie as he works.

    Anyway, all the best with this and all your writing.

    You omitted FADE IN at the beginning and FADE OUT. I would also avoid using CUT TO in screenplays.

  • #3

    Su Hoyle (Sunday, 29 July 2012 19:21)

    Shut up and Knish-

    Thanks for reading and for your feedback, Milethia!
    Actually, our hope was that this piece would also serve as a lead-in to a story that continues very much along the lines you describe -- leading into a full-length feature about an unlikely but ultimately successful romantic relationship between Melanie The Goy and the handsome kosher guy. So if you know any filmmakers....

  • #4

    John (Sunday, 29 July 2012 20:00)

    I really don't hand out plaudits lightly but this was so good - I found myself smiling broadly as I read on - and could really visualise this shikse being overwhelmed by her surroundings. There is real wit in the writing, and I'm so sorry it didnt make the cut. I cant think why. It's by far the best I've read so far. I can only guess it might be because it might be difficult to rustle up a cast of 50+ on a budget. Good luck with this

  • #5

    Su Hoyle (Monday, 30 July 2012 01:28)

    Thanks, John! Nina and I had LOTS of fun writing it.

    By the way, Milethia and John -- what are the titles of your scripts? Would love to find them and read. Thx!