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Alison (Thursday, 16 August 2012 03:17)
Aaah! That makes sense. So the performances will need to indicate the underlying tension beneath regular bickering that then leads to the 'grab and resist' climax! Things like that are challenging to
convey in a 2 page script format so that's where close collaboration between writer and director would come in.
I'm so mindful of not wanting characters to overtell in an unnatural way but that makes conveying the subtleties of a relationship in script directions really difficult. But it's worth the effort as
those are stories worth telling, I think. As you say, the contest has been a very interesting learning experience for so many of us!
Chip (Wednesday, 15 August 2012 12:02)
Thanks, Alison for your comments.
My thought is that despite it being Valentine's Day Horace and Maggie are now set in their ways and bicker over most things in their day to day life. It is only with the sudden reaction of 'grab and
resist' that they break the cycle and become romantic.
The point you make is valid and this last scene was the subject of several revisions, softer and harsher.
I thought the contest and its context a good challenge. It will be interesting to see the feature footage that does emerge.
Again, thank you for reading and commenting.
Alison (Saturday, 11 August 2012 05:42)
Hi Chip - I really like the idea of the older couple living the romance of their youth vicariously through the young passers-by but some of the language confused me a little i.e. grabs, resists. I
suddenly felt that Horace was getting unpleasantly aggressive and I'm not sure if that's what you intended. My preference would be to have them revisiting memories of their own romance in an unspoken
way - him watching and commenting seemingly lightly on the scenes outside the window, her reading romance fiction. They're both secretly wishing that things were as they once had been but too
repressed/stuck in a rut to acknowledge that.(So I would have had the only kiss be between the young couple outside.) But maybe I'm just a sucker for quiet pathos! It's certainly a scene with depth
that's thought provoking ... nice work!