RETITLED: You Used To Bring Me Flowers by Jo Buckman Draft 3
Draft Three Comments... have YOUR say!
RETITLED: You Used To Bring Me Flowers by Jo Buckman Draft 2
You Never Bring Me Flowers by Jo Buckman Draft 1
Draft One Producers Development Notes for the author
1. We enjoyed this script and felt it would make a good addition to the 50 Kisses project. However, we felt that you need to be clearer about the nature of the relationship between the two
characters. Has he always been a Zombie? Did she love him regardless? Or has he become a Zombie and she is looking past it to rekindle love? Have a think about how you can set it up to be 100%
clear to the reader and subsequent filmmaker.
2. The other thing that wasn’t entirely clear was if he had an affair with Gillian or she was just some unfortunate that he ate? Again, just clarify.
3. It might be worth bringing Gillian’s cat in a little early – plant/payoff – for the picture of them devouring it later. Has she taken it in after he ate Gillian?
4. Consider changing the dialogue and make it less colloquial and clipped. Opening it up in this manner, opens up the film to be considered by filmmakers around the world.
Have your say, what do you think?