Nothing Ventured by Nina Haerland Drafts 2 and 3
Draft Two Comments... have YOUR say!
Nothing Ventured by Nina Haerland Draft 1
Draft One Producers Development Notes for the author
“Nothing Ventured” tells a lovely story but the conclusion is a little obvious. All notes come from the point of view that it’s essentially Kate’s story, with Jack the one altering her
1. There’s an element of misdirection needed for the audience during the set up. We have to think Jack is getting these flowers for someone else. Has he left someone outside the shop waiting? Or is his car on a double yellow with the hazards on, indicating he has someone to rush off to?
2. Let’s tighten the stakes a little too. Currently Kate lets him into the shop too easily. He works harder to get in; she works harder to keep him out. We’re told that she wants to shut and go home but you need to show this.
If she’s there way past the closing time written on the door, or has a huge pile of takings from the day, and has her ‘dinner for one’ ready to take home, we’ll know she’s had the day from hell.
3. With our 50 scripts now finalised, we’re looking to be sure that they are as differentiated from each other as possible. If you can, please read and follow the development of “Love Letters” – facets of this and your stories are quite similar, so we’re keen to they are differentiated as much as can be.
Have your say, what do you think?