Love Letters by Sue Whitting Draft 2
Draft Two Comments... have YOUR say!
Love Letters by Sue Whitting Draft 1
Draft One Producers Development Notes for the author
“Love Letters” showcases a delightful concept but we feel the execution of this needs ironing out a little;
1. The script leads nicely up to the reveal but how do the mechanics of getting there play out?
a. Firstly, have these two met before? Does she come for eye tests all the time? Or is February 14th a regular appointment for her to make? If they’ve not met, essentially it’s two people in a dark room with the man declaring his undying love – that could be quite creepy.
b. Secondly, especially if Alice’s visit is a known quantity, Thomas will have a “special board” only for this woman. We’re not sure that they have met before, so when she reads the letters we don’t know what her reaction is going to be. There is no intimation of a history between the two.
2. If Alice returns for habitual appointments, she could go “off piste” and start spelling out words that don’t appear on the chart. You could reverse roles – the woman could be the optician, the man the customer – depending on if it’s more likely that a man would take a chance and say via this mode that he likes her?
3. SR: If Alice is empowered in this way, it’s a valid question as whether she already wears glasses or not? Does she purposely don Coke-bottle lenses in order to be tested often? Is her taking them off or putting them on part of the script’s theme of “seeing”, in a new way or for the first time?
4. Whatever you decide to do, we felt there was more fun to be had with this story. Start it when Alice comes into the optician to give as much range and texture to their interaction as we can. A full 2/8s of a page is taken up before Alice enters the shop..
5. As read, the kiss doesn’t quite work –it feels too “they fall into each others arms”. Instead, would an “x” on the board work as a kiss? Or saying/spelling “kiss” instead of “x”? How can you use the angle of the concept to get more out of the story?
6. With our 50 scripts now finalised, we’re looking to be sure that they are as differentiated from each other as possible. If you can, please read and follow the development of “Nothing
Ventured” – facets of this and your stories are quite similar, so we’re keen to they are differentiated as much as can be.
Have your say, what do you think?