Lonely Heart by Mark Jones Draft 2

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Draft Two Comments... have YOUR say!

Draft Two Comments... have YOUR say!

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Comments: 0

Lonely Heart by Mark Jones Draft 1

In the Zombie apocalypse, nothing says I love you like eating the heart of your true love.
Lonely Heart DRAFT 1.pdf
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Draft One Producers Development Notes for the author

“Lonely Heart” tells its story simply and visually.  The small number of notes concerns the practicalities of making the film;


1. Do we need the phone insert at the beginning?  It will be difficult to set up and it would be better for the filmmaker to spend time and money on the effects.  It does infer Valentine’s Day but it’s half a page before we get moving with the story.  The zombie mainstay of street litter and a newspaper blowing in the wind may do the job just as well.


2. Filmmaker note – this could look really bad if the effects are not done correctly!  Spend your time, effort and money getting it right!

Have your say, what do you think?

Comments: 15 (Discussion closed)
  • #1

    One Whare (Friday, 03 August 2012 11:26)

    I'm a big fan of Zombie films and would love to make this!!

  • #2

    Mac (Friday, 03 August 2012 15:11)

    Best one I've read by far. Excellent, absolutely love it.

  • #3

    Claire (Friday, 03 August 2012 15:28)

    Great story with a clear beginning, middle and end. Can't fault this one at all. Well done.

  • #4

    Thom Bruce (Friday, 03 August 2012 15:38)

    Absolutely wonderful. Would never have expected a zombie film to make the cut but this one's just too adorable! Well done. :)

  • #5

    Mark (Friday, 03 August 2012 17:13)

    Hi Mark,

    Cool! Best one I've read so far! I like the fact that he's peeved that she's eating it, really helps set it up the reversal later.

    Well done, and do feel free to let me know what you think of mine, Practice makes Perfect.


  • #6

    Harvey (Friday, 03 August 2012 20:57)

    Great kiss moment, good slapstick ending with the arm. Fun.

  • #7

    Phil Charles (Saturday, 04 August 2012 16:20)

    Very funny. Beautifully written. Usually hate anything zombie related, but you’ve converted me. The woman’s arm falling off at the end is comic gold. I really don’t feel we need the Twitter bit at the beginning, we’ll get it as soon as we see the characters/dead bodies. And I’d give our second/main woman a name. And perhaps get to her quicker if you can, we need to feel their connection. Huge congrats.

  • #8

    C Bacon (Saturday, 04 August 2012 18:24)

    Great stuff - particularly loved the opening tweets - set the tone beautifully for a great script - congratulations!

  • #9

    Mark Jones (Saturday, 04 August 2012 21:50)

    A heartfelt thank you for all the reads, positive scores and comments. You've made a wannabe screenwriter feel on top of the zombie-ravaged world.

    And to the judges -- thanks for taking a risk and putting it through! Looking forward to seeing the what those talented filmakers can do with it.

  • #10

    Stephen Cooper (Sunday, 05 August 2012 00:50)

    Zombies. Enough said, i'm sold. :)

  • #11

    Damian Mallon (Sunday, 05 August 2012 03:11)

    I can easily visualise this being very funny on screen. Well done.

  • #12

    chris m (Sunday, 05 August 2012 08:48)

    this is one of my faves - from the opening tweets to the detached arm, cleverly chosen visual moments and action throughout - glad to see this one go through, there will be some sharp filmmakers who will make the zombie makeup fx work - one little trope that could be added, giving the second zombie girl glasses and pinned-up hair that transform her into a zombie beauty when removed - totally not needed, just pictured it during the read

  • #13

    Jo (Sunday, 05 August 2012 19:34)

    Beautiful, Mark!

    Excellent timing and well written - even if the graphic details did make me feel slightly nauseous.

  • #14

    Shaun Bond (Monday, 06 August 2012 12:59)

    A strangely heart warming script.

    As feedback I would say that you clearly have some knowledge of script formatting, which is refreshing to see actually, but there are moments in the script where you were a little too descriptive - making it difficult for a director and actor to play out. For example; the line 'Turns its nose up and scampers off. The ultimate insult' is a line too far and is where you are trying to generate laughs within the script rather than what a director could show up on the screen.. if that makes sense. Furthermore, I would suggest having Joe's moans as an action rather than written dialogue as this is more likely how it would be relayed to the actor rather than demanding specifics. All in all, a fun read and most certainly a fun filming opportunity. Well done.

  • #15

    Michael E. Bierman (Friday, 10 August 2012 14:36)

    Funny and oddly touching. Good job!