Kisses from Jessica by Jess Smith Draft 2
Draft Two Comments... have YOUR say!
Kisses from Jessica by Jess Smith Draft 1
Draft One Producers Development Notes for the author
1. Dialogue is very Americanised – consider how can this be set in a more authentic British setting, with a British Voice? Perhaps an upper class escort with select amount of clients? Although it
may well get made as is, you might want to broaden the appeal to filmmakers from around the world by not making it so location specific. Also think through props like gramophone and ford pick ups
- would a lo-to-no filmmaker be able to get these easily?
2. We feel you reveal that your character is gay too early – should this be the surprise at the end? How else can you mislead and misdirect the audience?
3. Consider just having one voiceover – decide who the protagonist is of this piece and tell the story from their point of view.The two sets of voiceover might be difficult to do, and especially with the sex scene, it does just explain what is happening visually. Could you use the space that taking this out of the script would give for something else?
4. Would the girlfriend really be in the bathroom as she is doing a job?Think about the logistics.
Have your say, what do you think?