Cloudy Days by Louise McCooey Draft 2
Draft Two Comments... have YOUR say!
Cloudy Days by Louise McCooey Draft 1
Draft One Producers Development Notes for the author
1. We felt that you need to establish a higher stake back story and explain why the mother is not there. We discussed that the situation you had in mind for your characters was that the daughter
was disabled from birth and the mother couldn't cope and left, leaving her entirely in the care of her father. If that is the case, you need to bring that story to the fore. You don't need to
over expose it with dialogue, what visual ways can this be explained, but leave us in no doubt that the mother wants nothing to do with them. Our suggestion before hearing your backstory was that
perhaps his wife was killed a year ago today by a car accident and the daughter left disabled. We just felt to you need to explain what brought him to his current situation.
2. Consider whether you need any dialogue when your character goes into the kitchen himself. Let the actor do their job. They will show the emotion through performance.
3. The backstory – whatever you decide to do with it – will provide an emotional highpoint. Show that despite it all, despite looking out the window at the world going past, he is happy with what he has.
Have your say, what do you think?