Close Encounters by Phil Berard Draft 2
Draft Two Comments... have YOUR say!
Close Encounters by Phil Berard Draft 1
Draft One Producers Development Notes for the author
1. We liked this script, we felt that most people can relate to that awful moment of running into an ex when they least expect it. However, we felt it would be better ending on the “what if”.
Don’t have them turn around, and the groceries dramatically fall, just have them keep wondering if they other looked back.
2. Logistically the Voice Over and speaking would probably happen at the same time – it might well be that a director “visualises” this script with the VO as speech bubbles and thus you may have to expand what they say to each other.
3. Really look at the dialogue – can you write any further subtext into what they ARE saying to each other, when the voiceover is saying so much about what they are NOT saying?
Have your say, what do you think?